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Health Rant

Seeking Solutions: Anticipating Having to Wake Up Prevents Me from Sleeping!

I struggle with sleep. Among my most frustrating sleep-related problems is my inability to fall asleep once I start anticipating having to wake up. Once my alarm is set, I start thinking of the reducing amount of time I have to sleep. I find myself counting down the time to the point that it makes me anxious. I’ll start worrying about how tired I’ll be if I don’t fall asleep and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s so frustrating and I haven’t found a solid solution for it yet. Apparently I’m not alone. I’ve seen some posts refer to it as “alarm anxiety”. That said, aside from the usual sleep hygiene tips like hiding the alarm clock, breathing exercises, and meditation, there seems to be no magic solution – and that grinds my gears.

How the Problem Manifested Itself This Time

Just today I faced a particularly frustrating case of this. This week I had a string of family events for three days in a row. I haven’t been feeling so hot lately and really wanted to sleep last night to feel healthy for today’s event. I arranged for myself to be able to get 7h of sleep. It took me about an hour to fall asleep. Next thing I knew, my partner’s alarm clock was waking me up. Unfortunately, they took a while to silence it and by the time they did, I was fully awake. They had set their alarm for almost 2h earlier than I had set mine for.

Frustrated, I lied there trying to sleep in vain only for my alarm to sound 2h later while I was still lying there awake. During those 2h I tried breathing exercises, listening to a relaxing podcast, different positions, but nothing helped me get back to sleep. I couldn’t stop the nagging thought I was about to lose 2h sleep and it seemed to feel totally outside my control which frustrated me. Now, I’m writing out of frustration because I feel too tired to go about the rest of my day’s plans and I can’t shake the feeling that I lost a full day of my weekend.

It Happens Often Enough in Multiple Contexts

I get this in other contexts as well. On the weekends, for example, I tend to take advantage of being able to sleep in. By the time Monday rears its head, I find myself struggling to fall asleep just because I know I’ll be needing to wake up to be ready for work by a fixed time again. It’s a frustrating way to kick off the week.

Another example is when I take an overnight flight. I think it’s the combination of feeling pressure to sleep so I don’t get sick/exhausted, knowing there’s a limited amount of time, and just being physically uncomfortable that makes it nearly impossible for me to sleep on a plane.

Anyone Figure this Out?

I’m really frustrated today because of this. I had to fight the urge to make my partner feel guilty for having woken me up early. Surely nothing good can come from that. There’s a part of me that seems to want to play victim and seek their pity for some reason. In reality, I should really just want the much needed shut-eye.

I know that if I need to sleep before an event or something, there are tricks I could take to ensure a decent night’s sleep. For example, I can pop a sleeping pill, take a warm bath, meditate and stretch beforehand, and more. The problem is, something it feels too late to employ these strategies, e.g. when I woke up today within a 2h window of when I’d have to wake up, I could have meditated and stretched during that time, but it’s also hard to know whether I could have fallen asleep without doing such things which would have maximized my slumber time. There’s no guarantee these strategies would work either and they could just eat up precious sleep time. If anyone has recommendations to solve this problem, I’m all ears!